2003-08-05 - 11:42 a.m.

Okay, so, it's taken me a while to get around to this.

However, I now have a good way to start, and it's all thanks to The Damn Hell Ass Kings.

If you're here, you probably know who they are, and if you're like me, they're probably one of the reasons why you're here. Yes, I linked to the homepage from Uncle Bob's site. Yes, I visit TWOP like it's church (if I were the kind of person who ever went to church). Yes, I inspire to one day write an entry so hysterical that I am invited to recap something. I know I'm not the only one, so enough with the derision.

Well, one of them inspired me again today. Wendola, in fact. I was checking out Pound (www.poundy.com) after I had come to the rather terrifying realization that, no matter what I said or how much I tried to eat spinach artichoke dip in front of people, I was trying to lose weight. Now, I know that trying to lose weight is something that people normally aspire to and think of as a good thing in this country, but I was trying to take the Camryn Manheim/Margaret Cho high ground and love myself and my body for what it is. I said that I had become a vegetarian specifically to piss off everyone in my life who was on the Atkins diet, and while that is true, the end of that sentence is really "By losing weight and being healthier than them."

See, a few years ago I never ate anything and exercised like a freak and never went out with friends and was really thin and thought I was really fat and then I woke up one morning and said, "Screw this" and ate fried chicken again. Technically, I woke up in science class, but it was in the morning, so it counts. Since then, I had the attitude of "I will not punish myself to conform to some ridiculous, unattainable standard of beauty created by a sexist, commercial society" which, if you're a gay man, is not going to win you a date, ever. However, that kind of attitude will win you the support and admiration of many cool people, some of whom wind up being hot bisexual boys, and ain't nothing wrong with that.

However, nothing fits anymore unless I go to Casual Male, and so the yoga DVDs and veggie sandwiches are now in the game plan. So I decided to check out Wendola's site, which I had been self-righteously avoiding, so that I could see it in a new light.

Scrolling through the recent posts, I saw that Wendola had drawn an analogy that had me snort-laughing at my desk. Apparently, online diarists are to bloggers as drama kids are to yearbook kids.

I, of course, was both. There are certain things expected of a gay teenager, and I wasn't about to shirk my duties. This meant that after school I ran out to pick up some Taco Cabana and reported to the yearbook lab upon my return, ready to make up enough quotes to fill a story about the chem class celebrating Mole Day (don't ask). This lasted until 7pm, when I hauled ass over to the theater to practice for another two hours. Good times.

So, it seems like I was meant to do this. Doing it diary style might mean I'm pledging allegiance to the drama crowd, but I'm happy with that. I may have spent more time doing layouts for ads pages, but when I got shitfaced at my mom's house I was surrounded by theatre people.

It's proven to be a very disturbing trend. Fortunately, I'm now getting trashed at my own place.

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