2004-09-28 - 9:23 a.m.

It might be a couple more days before I do a real update, as I am in the middle of trying to track down the publication records for Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children while, at the same time, trying to find out all I can about Roland Barthes, whose essay, "From Work to Text," I will be reporting on for class tomorrow. Add this onto all my usual work and the fact that I need to clean my apartment and burn CDs for people and do all sorts of other crap and you can see why this diary needs to take a backseat.

However, I did want to say two things:

1) I've decided that my new euphemism for grad school and the feelings of stupidity it inspires is "intellectual regime change."

2) So, as you know, my mom has her high falutin' pseudo-government job. Well, today she called me and said, "Son, I need your help.

NotoriousRRZ: Sure Mom, what's up?
NotoriousMOM: I'm having lunch with Lance Bass.
RRZ: Lance Bass . . . like NSync Lance Bass?
MOM: Yeah.
RRZ: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
MOM: Is he any good?
RRZ: Mmmf giggle NO! BWAHAHAHA
MOM: Hee hee okay, shut up, what 's his music like?
RRZ: Sugary teenybopper shit that my little stepsister got bored with when she was 13!
MOM: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
RRZ: Okay, so you remember New Kids on the Block, that band that played when I was a kid?
MOM: Yeah.
RRZ: They're like that.
MOM: (Slightly disgusted) Oh. Well, can you think of anything nice I can say about him?
RRZ: (Wishing I could say "Ask him if he's really a power bottom like the rumors say") Well, he was a clean teen pop star. He tried to be an astronaut. He tried acting but that failed miserably. Um . . . he's done a lot of good reaching out to teens? Maybe?
MOM: Yeah, that's what we want to use him for. Hmmm. Okay, well, thanks anyway.
RRZ: Okay, Mom. Love you.
MOM: Love you too.

Why couldn't they get Tori or Ani or Eddie Vedder to do outreach? I'd be on the next flight out.

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