2004-08-11 - 9:10 a.m.

Things are beginning to progress over here. I registered for classes this morning, and I'm a bit worried about the fact that I'm more interested in Performance Studies courses than English courses, seeing as I am ostensibly here to study English. However, I figure that the whole Performance Studies preference is due to the fact that both of the classes I'm interested in are about contemporary political performance, and I consider myself a contemporary political performer, which means I can make those classes all about me! ME! It's all about ME! Of course, I'm not signed up yet for Chicano literature, which would also be all about me, but it can't be about me all the time. OH YES IT CAN! Shut up, ego.

Anyway.

Even better news comes from FedEx, who has my a copy of my birth certificate waiting for me at a nearby office. This is part of my most important project of the moment, acquiring residency in the state of California. Upon completion of this process, I will begin a campaign to have acquiring residency in the state of California declared an Olympic sport in time for the 2012 Summer Games. Because, seriously. I need to get a California license, get my car registered, set up a totally new bank account, register and vote in the upcoming election (which I was clearly going to do anyway, but still), hop one one foot for a mile and a half, drink a gallon of milk in under an hour, complete in a spelling bee . . . it's insane. All of this to make sure I don't have to pay tuition. I feel like I'm on The Not-So-Much-Amazing-As-Excruciatingly-Dull Race. "Make your way by marked rickshaw to the DMV on Claremont avenue. There you will have to pass a written test that you thought you'd never have to do again after the age of 15." I'd take the Fast Forward, but it was, "Attend Stanford," and I don't want to live in Palo Alto.

Of course, not even this was as crazy as my trip to Whole Foods. Apparently, all aggression that is not spent on the highway is vented by Californians at the supermarket. Correction: the organic supermarket. I have never had to take a number at Whole Foods, and I wish I'd never have to again, because you have to wait and wait and pay a-bloody-ttention, because if you aren't there RIGHT when they call your number they move on, and at that point your only hope is to find a reasonably sized melon or squash and bludgeon a person with a higher number to death. Who'd have thought that buying quinoa and spinach cakes would require chain mail?

Fortunately, I am surviving. Knock on wood. I still need to do a lot of running around, but I'll handle it.

Finally, in solidarity with Newgyptian, who is feeling down about only putting a quiz on her diary page, I am going to put up a survey that I snagged from Narami. Then Newgyptian can do it to, and have yet another entry!

1) What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up?

The first thing I can recall really wanting to pursue was zoology, with a concetration in either rainforest ecology or oceanography. Yes, I knew those words when I was little. Yes, I was a dork. Yes, those career paths were code for, "I like whales and butterflies." Shut up.

2)Come up with a pet you don't have, and name the poor creature.

As per the distinctions I made yesterday, a pet is something you can't converse with, so talking animals are out. Okay. In that case, my pet would be a land-dwelling octopus with plush, color-changing fur named Sydney (regardless of gender), which may or may not be an homage to Ladeeleroy's fish. I don't know. Oooh, or a sea lion named Ralph or Jessica, because if you ever see sea lions, they act like acquatic dogs.

3)Confess a guilty pleasure.

See, I've already confessed to plenty on this thing, and I'm not one for guilt . . . let's go with porn.

4) Provide a story, habit, or interest that could serve as your geek/dork/nerd id card.

I keep an online journal, for fuck's sake.

5) Same-sex and heterosex aside, should "marriage" be legal?

See, this is an interesting question, because a lot of people who support gay marriage argue that marriage should not be legislated. However, so many things--citizenship, hospital visits, taxes, property rights--are determined by marriage. So, while I feel that "marriage" shouldn't be legislated, I think that there need to be alternative mechanisms set up for those other things. Would that be "civil unions?" Who knows? But as long as America says heteros can get married, we should get married, too.

6)What book would you plead with your friends to spare themselves from?

This is what made me want to do this quiz, because yesterday I discovered that one of the most popular searches for my friendster group was "good in bed jennifer weiner," and I felt the need to post to the bulletin board about how awful that waste of paper was. Please see my entry entitled, "Plus Size Women Rule . . . Except This One."

7) What's the last good book you read?

I haven't finished a book in a while. Actually, I reread Pratchett's Interesting Times and found it a lot more amusing than I'd remembered it, possibly because I've hung out with a revolutionary crowd since the first time I read it.

8) Recommend a children's book.

I'll recommend Terry Pratchett's children's books to anyone: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, The Wee Free Men, and A Hatful of Sky.

9) What's in your CD or MP3 collection that you'd rather not admit?

Hmmmmm . . . again, I am not big on "guilt." Let's go with a CD that is not there right now but once was: the Celine Dion CD with the Up Close and Personal song on it. That's the last one that I can remember throwing out with shame.

10) What question would be really difficult to answer?

"Explain quantum physics." Okay, I know it means something more personal. Let's go with, "What do you want to do with your life?"

11) What question would you have a really easy time answering?

"What's two plus two?" I don't know, anything relatively factual.

12) Best test: multiple choice, fill-in-the-blanks, or short answer/essay?

Essay, dudes. Clearly, a high schooler wrote this. On essays, you can lie like a rug and still get an A. That's what college teaches you.

13)Name one thing you learned in school that has actually been applicable in real life.

See above.

14) You have a stuffed animal named____

A lamb named Nela Lamb, named for NelaBella because I was sad she was graduating, or moving to France, one of the two.

15) If I asked you to take me to your leader, who would it be?

One of the triumvirate: Tori, Neil, or Terry. Or the head of my department.

16) What do you <3

Yes, that was written out like that. I'll tell you what I don't heart: <3. It looks more like an ass than a heart. I heart a lot of things. My newest heart is these little things from Whole Foods called "inaru" or "inari." They're little balls of rice wrapped in fried tofu that are kinda sweet and tangy. I could eat 2 dozen, easy.

17) What would be a really bad nickname for you?

Anything weight related.

18) What might you like to be called?

I'm not one for nicknames. However, being called, "God" or "Goddess" might be nice . . .

19) What's the worst fad/craze you had to endure?

LOW. FUCKING. CARB.

20) In what celebrity's presence would you most likely not retain composure?

See previous entry entitled: "Big, Starstruck Dork."

21) Name something stupid you've done in relation to a musical.

Signed up as costume designer for Sweeney Todd. One of the worst mistakes of my life. Light up my ass, Penn Players! Long story, ain't tellin' it here.

22)Share a cool word.

Lately, my word has been "surreptitious" meaning "trying to remain secret" or "covert" or "sneaky."

23) If you were going to write a book about the person you got this survey from, what would be the first line?

"En paginas electronicas, gris-azules como el cielo nublado, Narami escribio su vida en suenos y sonrisas."

24) Make up your own question and answer it.

"So why did you do this quiz?"

I was procrastinating. Duh.

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