2003-12-29 - 8:41 a.m.

Last entry, I published my Grown-Up Christmas List, a catalogue of all the prohibitively expensive, virtually unattainable things that I wanted for Christmas, and wanted not now, but right now.

Well, I still don't have Orlando Bloom and I have yet to be able to fire bolts of carb-energy at passing vehicles (although maybe I just haven't eaten enough carbs yet) but I did get a couple of the wishes granted, which was pretty cool.

First of all, I did get my much desired gift certificates to go buy more books. Granted, it's not an insane amount of money, particularly as books can be kinda expensive these days, but it's enough to make a few choice purchases. High on my list is the latest Sandman book, which I have been longing to read, every attempt stymied by the sealed plastic cover on the book. DAMN YOU, PLASTIC! Also, I finally saw Breakfast at Tiffany's on Christmas Day, and so I decided I needed to read the book. Apparently the book is a great deal queerer than the movie, which is not surprising considering that Truman Capote's responsible for it. I hope the ending isn't as happy-go-pukey as the one in the movie. Nothing turns me off faster than a guy saying "You belong to me because I love you." Particularly when it;s a hot guy saying to someone not me, because at least when it is me I can say, "I belong to no one, now make out with me!"

It's empowering, let me tell you.

The other Christmas present I got came today. Actually, I need to take a second to describe my other presents. I got a lot of sweaters, which will hopefully prove useful if I go to London or Philly or NYC this fall, but which are totally unnecessary in Texas. I got a necklace that clashes with itself. I got a thing of JBz, which are the new Jelly Belly/M&M hybrid, and they are really not so much a good idea. A couple of the flavors work, but most of them suck ass, and the coating is very thick and hard, meaning you really have to bite to get through it. Also, they made buttered popcorn JBz. How buttered popcorn became the most popular flavor I will never know. I deeply distrust those who enjoy the buttered popcorn jelly beans. That's the Mark of the Beast, right there.

The most wack gift, however, had to be a set of baking dishes, including a muffin tin, that I received from an aunt. Because I bake so much. Using all the free time I have. Because I have neither an 8-5 job, nor a directing gig, nor graduate school applications to complete. I don't have time to make anything other than a peanut butter sandwich or pasta. If there were no Whole Foods deli, I'd starve. Now I have to find muffin recipes in order to use this muffin tin. Do I look like Martha Stewart? Ah well, that's why God invented eBay.

No, but the good gift arrived today in my inbox. You see, a couple of weeks ago, The Lovely and Talented Ms. Ginger Leigh forwarded a website to me. Apparently, there is this organization called the American Family Association. If you're anything like me, your eyebrow raises every time you see the word "family" in an organization's title. Too often, "family" is synonymous with "homophobic," "sexist," and "conservative." Sure enough, this group is all of the above.

Well, they are conducting an online poll on "homosexual marriage." You can hear the contempt in that phrase, can't you? "Gay marriage" sounds lighthearted and fun, as though one could imagine it as a wedding between the Queer Eye boys, with fabulous food and wedding couture, while "same-sex marriage" sound more like legal language, something that you know is going to be on the lawbooks. "Homosexual marriage" sounds as cold and sharp and clinical as a scalpel. When I received this e-mail, the poll was heavily in opposition of gay marriage.

Not anymore

Now, there have more than 375,000 votes in favor of gay marriage, more than 50,000 in favor of civil unions with all the benefits of marriage barring the name, and only 201,914 in opposition. The e-mail campaign is working. Sure, they are going to say that more gay people are online, and that the numbers are skewed, and they'll find some way to fix the results rather than accept the possibility that America would rather see Ellen DeGeneres and Carson Kressley and Nathan Lane and all the rest of us happily married than unhappily oppressed, but we can still make a showing until the final days. We can still show them that they are fighting a losing battle, one that they can only win by instituting a fascist state that ignores the needs and desires of the American people. Granted, they are well on their way to doing just that, but if we can force them to confront what they're doing, we might be able to convince them that this is a battle that isn't worth fighintg.

The site is: http://www.afa.net/petitions/marriagepoll.asp

You are going to get spammed if you go, I'll admit that, but you can unsubscribe to the list or just delete the friggin things. Actually, keep them handy to find out what the religious right is doing these days.

Already, conservatives are pissing their pants about their poll getting "hijacked," as if any expression of an opinion other than the one they hold is an act of terrorism (oh wait, that's what they actually believe). I say we show them just how terrified they need to be.

You don't have to go to this webiste. You don't have to take the time or risk them getting ahold of your e-mail. I'll understand. But I need to know you're willing to fight somehow.

And if you're not willing, then you are not my friend. And you will not be getting an invite to my wedding.

Happy Holidays, once again.

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